Clothed In Love: Ancient Wisdom For A Modern Marriage
Friends, we have gathered today for one of the most beautiful moments human life offers. Two people are standing before God, before family, before friends, and before one another, making promises that will shape the rest of their lives. Whatever brought each of us into this room today, we are all witnesses to something sacred. And because it is sacred, we do not want to fill this moment with sentiment alone. We want to fill it with truth. So we turn to Scripture, because the Bible does not give us a romantic fantasy about marriage. It gives us something far better. It gives us a foundation.
We read today from two letters written by the apostle Paul. The first is Philippians 2:1-5, and the second is Colossians 3:12-17. These are not passages written specifically about marriage, and that is exactly what makes them so powerful for a wedding day. Paul was writing to whole congregations, describing how people who follow Jesus are supposed to treat one another in daily life. If this is how Christians are called to treat every brother and sister in the faith, imagine how much more it applies to the person you are choosing to love above all others on this earth.
The Foundation: Union With Christ
Paul opens Philippians 2 with a series of conditions that are really affirmations. He writes, "If, then, there is any encouragement in Christ, if any consolation of love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by thinking the same way." The word "if" here does not express doubt. It expresses certainty. Paul is saying: because there is encouragement in Christ, because there is consolation, because there is fellowship with the Spirit, here is what your life together should look like.
This is the foundation the two of you are building on today. Not romantic chemistry alone, not shared interests alone, not even mutual respect alone, though all of those things matter. The deepest foundation of a Christian marriage is a shared life in Jesus Christ. When both of you are drawing from the same well of grace, you have a resource for your marriage that no self-help book and no human effort can manufacture.
The Posture: Humility And Equal Regard
Paul continues in verse 3: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look not to his own interests, but rather to the interests of others." Then in verse 5 he says, "Adopt the same attitude as that of Christ Jesus."
This is the posture of a Christian marriage. Not one partner ruling over the other. Not a competition for control or credit. But two people, each one choosing to consider the other as more important than themselves. Notice that Paul does not assign this posture to one spouse and not the other. He writes it for every believer. The call to humble, outward-focused love falls on both of you equally.
The model is Christ himself. Jesus, who had every right to demand honor, took on the form of a servant. He did not grasp for his own comfort. He gave himself. That is the spirit you are being invited to bring into your home, your conversations, your conflicts, and your ordinary Tuesday mornings.
The Wardrobe: What Covenant Love Looks Like In Practice
Colossians 3 makes this even more vivid. Paul writes, "Therefore, as God's chosen ones, holy and dearly loved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a grievance against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you are also to forgive."
The image of putting something on is intentional. These qualities are described like clothing. You choose them. You put them on deliberately, every single day. Some mornings that will feel natural. Other mornings it will feel like the hardest thing you have ever done. But Paul is clear: this is not optional decoration for the Christian life. It is the daily uniform.
Then in verse 14 he adds the garment that holds everything together: "Above all, put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity." Love, in Paul's understanding, is not merely a feeling that rises and falls with circumstances. It is a decision, a commitment, a bond that holds the whole wardrobe in place. And in verse 15 he says, "Let the peace of Christ, to which you were also called in one body, rule in your hearts." Let peace be the referee in your home. When disagreement comes, and it will come, let the peace of Christ be what you are both reaching for.
Finally, verse 16 calls you to let the word of Christ dwell richly among you, and verse 17 closes with this: "And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."
Do everything in his name. That is the whole of it. Every conversation, every decision, every act of forgiveness, every ordinary meal, every hard season, and every joyful one, offered to God together.
A Charge And A Blessing
To the two of you standing here today: you are not being asked to be perfect. You are being asked to be faithful. Faithful to Christ first, and faithful to one another because of Christ. Wear compassion. Wear kindness. Wear patience. Forgive as you have been forgiven. Let love be the bond that holds it all together. And when you find that you cannot do it in your own strength, return to the One who is the source of every grace you need.
May the peace of Christ rule in your home. May his word dwell richly in your life together. And may everything you do, from this day forward, be done in his name, to his glory, and with deep and lasting gratitude.
Sources Consulted
Moo, Douglas J. The Letters to the Colossians and to Philemon. Pillar New Testament Commentary. Eerdmans, 2008.
O'Brien, Peter T. The Epistle to the Philippians. New International Greek Testament Commentary. Eerdmans, 1991.
Thielman, Frank. Philippians. NIV Application Commentary. Zondervan, 1995.
Garland, David E. Colossians and Philemon. NIV Application Commentary. Zondervan, 1998.
Schreiner, Thomas R. Paul, Apostle of God's Glory in Christ. InterVarsity Press, 2001.
Before preaching: verify every biblical reference, replace general language only with couple-approved details, and revise the message in your own Christian tradition and pastoral voice.