Sermon On Marriage And Family

Choose This Day: Building A Christ-Centered Home

There is a moment in the life of every believer when a decision must be made. Not a casual preference, not a vague intention, but a deliberate, costly, daily choice about who will govern the household of your life. Joshua stood before the entire assembly of Israel and pressed that choice into the open. He did not soften it or dress it up. He said, in effect, here are your options, now choose. And then, before anyone else could answer, he answered for himself and for his house. That kind of clarity is rare, and it is exactly what the Scriptures call every married couple, every family, and every believer to embrace.

This morning we are going to let two passages of Scripture do the heavy lifting. The first is Joshua 24:14-15, where a leader draws a line in the sand at the end of his life and calls a people to covenant faithfulness. The second is Colossians 3:12-21, where the apostle Paul paints in vivid color what a household looks like when Christ is genuinely at the center of it. Together, these texts give us a portrait of the Christ-centered home, not as a romantic ideal, but as a living, breathing, daily commitment.

The Choice That Shapes Everything

Joshua 24:14-15 reads this way in the Christian Standard Bible. "Therefore, fear the Lord and worship him in sincerity and truth. Get rid of the gods your ancestors worshiped beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt, and worship the Lord. But if it doesn't please you to worship the Lord, choose for yourselves today: Which will you worship, the gods your ancestors worshiped beyond the Euphrates River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living? As for me and my house, we will worship the Lord."

Notice what Joshua is doing. He is not delivering a sentimental speech about the beauty of family life. He is issuing a covenant challenge. The word translated "worship" here carries the weight of devoted, exclusive service. Joshua is saying that every household is already organized around something. Every home has a functional center, something that shapes its priorities, its schedule, its spending, its conflict resolution, its vision for the future. The question is not whether your home is organized around a center. The question is what that center is.

Joshua had watched a generation wander in the wilderness because their hearts were divided. He had seen what happens when a people try to worship God on the Sabbath and live for themselves the rest of the week. And so at the end of his life, with full knowledge of the cost, he made a public declaration. As for me and my house, we will worship the Lord. Not the gods of comfort. Not the gods of ambition. Not the gods of cultural approval. The Lord.

This is where every Christian marriage must begin. Not with a personality assessment or a communication strategy, though those things have their place. It must begin with a decision. Who will we serve? What will govern this household? When the pressure comes, and it will come, what will we fall back on? Joshua's answer was not a feeling. It was a covenant. And covenants are kept not because they are easy but because they are binding.

The Wardrobe Of The Christ-Centered Home

If Joshua gives us the foundation, Colossians 3 gives us the furnishings. Paul writes in verses 12 through 14, "Therefore, as God's chosen ones, holy and dearly loved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a grievance against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you are also to forgive. Above all, put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity."

The language of putting on is intentional. Paul is describing a daily act. You do not accidentally become compassionate any more than you accidentally get dressed. These qualities must be chosen, reached for, and worn into the day. And notice that Paul addresses all of this to people who already belong to God. He calls them chosen, holy, and dearly loved. The motivation for how we treat one another in the home is not self-improvement. It is identity. You are loved by God. Therefore, love. You have been forgiven by God. Therefore, forgive.

This is the gospel applied to the kitchen table and the bedroom and the living room. The same grace that saves you is the grace that is supposed to shape how you speak to the person across from you at breakfast. Humility is not weakness. Gentleness is not passivity. Patience is not indifference. These are the marks of someone who has been transformed by the Spirit of God and who is choosing, day by day, to let that transformation show up in the most intimate relationships of life.

Verse 15 adds, "And let the peace of Christ, to which you were also called in one body, rule in your hearts." The word translated "rule" here is an athletic term. It means to act as an umpire, to arbitrate. Paul is saying that when conflict arises in the home, and it will, the peace of Christ should be the standard by which decisions are made. Not who wins the argument. Not who is louder or more stubborn. The peace of Christ should call the play.

Verse 16 continues, "Let the word of Christ dwell richly among you, in all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another through psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts." A Christ-centered home is a home where Scripture is not a decoration but a dwelling. It lives there. It shapes conversation. It corrects assumptions. It comforts grief. It reorients pride. When the word of Christ dwells richly in a household, that household has a resource that no counseling program, no self-help book, and no cultural trend can replicate.

What This Looks Like In Practice

Paul then moves in verses 18 through 21 to address the specific relationships within the household. Wives and husbands, children and parents. What is striking about this passage is that every instruction is governed by the phrase "in the Lord" or "as is fitting in the Lord" or "as is pleasing to the Lord." The organizing principle of every relationship in the home is not cultural tradition, not personal preference, not whoever has the stronger personality. It is the lordship of Christ.

Husbands are called to love their wives and not be harsh with them. That is not a low bar dressed up in simple language. That is a call to the kind of sacrificial, self-giving love that mirrors Christ's love for the church. It is a call to lead not by domination but by devotion. It is a call to be the kind of person your spouse can trust, not because you demand trust, but because you have earned it through consistent, Christlike character.

Wives are called to submit to their husbands as is fitting in the Lord. This is not a call to silence or to the erasure of personhood. It is a call to a kind of ordered, trusting partnership within a household where both spouses are equally loved by God and equally responsible to him. The entire structure of Paul's teaching here assumes mutual respect, mutual service, and mutual accountability before Christ.

Children are called to obey their parents, and parents are called not to exasperate their children. Both of those instructions require the same thing: humility. The parent who disciplines in anger and the child who rebels in pride are both, in different ways, refusing to let the peace of Christ rule.

The Invitation

Here is the honest pastoral word for this morning. No home is perfect. Every marriage will have seasons of difficulty. Every family will carry wounds. The Christ-centered home is not a home without conflict. It is a home where conflict is brought under the lordship of Christ and worked through with the tools Paul describes, compassion, forgiveness, humility, and the word of God.

If you are married, the question Joshua asked is still the right question. Who is actually at the center of your home? Not who you intend to put there, but who is actually there, reflected in your daily choices and your daily treatment of one another.

If you are not yet married, you are building the habits right now that will shape whatever household you one day belong to. The character Paul describes in Colossians 3 is not something you develop after the wedding. It is something you cultivate now, in your relationships, your community, and your walk with Christ.

And if you are here this morning and you do not yet know Christ personally, the grace that makes all of this possible is available to you. The same Lord who forgave Joshua's generation, the same Christ who died and rose so that we could be called chosen and holy and dearly loved, is calling you to himself today. That is where every good thing begins.

As for me and my house, we will worship the Lord. May that be the declaration of every home represented in this room.

Sources Consulted

Trent C. Butler, Joshua, Word Biblical Commentary, Volume 7, Word Books, 1983.

F. F. Bruce, The Epistles to the Colossians, to Philemon, and to the Ephesians, New International Commentary on the New Testament, Eerdmans, 1984.

Douglas J. Moo, The Letters to the Colossians and to Philemon, Pillar New Testament Commentary, Eerdmans, 2008.

Dale Ralph Davis, Joshua: No Falling Words, Christian Focus Publications, 2000.

The Christian Standard Bible, Holman Bible Publishers, 2017.