Built On Something That Will Not Move
Friends, family, and honored guests, welcome. We have gathered today because two people have decided that they do not want to face the rest of their lives apart. That is a beautiful thing. It is also a serious thing. And the best gift this congregation can give the two of you today is not a warm feeling but a true word, a word drawn from Scripture that will still be standing long after the flowers have faded and the music has gone quiet.
We are going to spend a few minutes in two passages of Scripture. The first is Proverbs 3:3-6, and the second is Colossians 3:12-17. Together they form a kind of foundation and a frame, the ground you build on and the shape of the life you build together.
The Foundation: Proverbs 3:3-6
Proverbs 3:3-6 in the Christian Standard Bible reads this way: "Never let loyalty and faithfulness leave you. Tie them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will find favor and a good reputation in the sight of God and people. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding. In all your ways know him, and he will make your paths straight."
Notice what Solomon does not say. He does not say, "Find the right person and everything will fall into place." He does not say, "Follow your heart." He says tie loyalty and faithfulness around your neck. That is covenant language. A covenant is not a contract you exit when conditions change. It is a binding promise made before God, and it is meant to hold precisely when conditions are difficult. The writer of Proverbs tells us that these qualities, loyalty and faithfulness, are not feelings that arrive on their own. They are disciplines you carry with you. You tie them on. You write them on your heart. You bring them to the marriage every single day.
Then comes the most important line in the passage: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding." This is the foundation beneath the foundation. Every marriage will eventually arrive at a moment when two people see the same situation completely differently. Every marriage will face a decision that neither spouse feels fully equipped to make. The wisdom of Proverbs says that the answer to that moment is not the cleverness of one spouse or the other. The answer is shared dependence on God. When the two of you kneel together before the Lord, you are not surrendering your intelligence. You are placing your intelligence under the authority of the One who actually knows what is ahead. That is not weakness. That is the wisest thing any two people can do.
The Frame: Colossians 3:12-17
If Proverbs gives us the foundation, Colossians 3 gives us the daily shape of a marriage built on that foundation. Paul writes to the church at Colossae, but his words describe exactly the kind of household God is calling you to build. He says in verses 12 through 17: "Therefore, as God's chosen ones, holy and dearly loved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a grievance against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you are also to forgive. Above all, put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since you were called to one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell richly among you, in all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another through psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."
Read that list slowly. Compassion. Kindness. Humility. Gentleness. Patience. Forgiveness. Peace. Gratitude. These are not personality traits you either have or do not have. Paul says put them on, the same way you put on clothing each morning. They are daily choices. And notice that Paul grounds every one of them not in human effort but in the grace already given: "just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you are also to forgive." The capacity to love your spouse well flows from having first received the love of Christ. This is why the gospel is not background music at a Christian wedding. It is the engine of everything.
Paul also says to let the word of Christ dwell richly among you. That is a practical instruction. It means open the Bible together. Pray together. Worship together. Let the Scriptures shape the way you talk to each other, the way you resolve conflict, the way you make decisions. A marriage where the Word of God is welcome in the home is a marriage with a resource that no counselor, no self-help book, and no good intention alone can replace.
A Charge To The Two Of You
So here is the charge I leave with you today. Begin as you mean to continue. Build loyalty and faithfulness into the daily rhythms of your life together. Trust God more than you trust your own instincts. Put on the garments Paul describes, not once, but every morning. Let the peace of Christ be the referee in your home. And let the Word dwell richly among you, so that when the hard days come, and they will come, you are not scrambling to find a foundation. You are already standing on one.
May the Lord who brought you to this moment carry you faithfully through every moment that follows. May your home be marked by grace, your friendship by honesty, and your covenant by the same steadfast love that God has shown to his people from the beginning. What God joins together, may it stand.
Sources Consulted
Waltke, Bruce K. The Book of Proverbs: Chapters 1-15. New International Commentary on the Old Testament. Eerdmans, 2004.
Moo, Douglas J. The Letters to the Colossians and to Philemon. Pillar New Testament Commentary. Eerdmans, 2008.
Longman, Tremper III. Proverbs. Baker Commentary on the Old Testament Wisdom and Psalms. Baker Academic, 2006.
Wright, N. T. Colossians and Philemon. Tyndale New Testament Commentaries. IVP Academic, 1986.
Chapell, Bryan. Each for the Other: Marriage as It's Meant to Be. Baker Books, 2006.
Before preaching: verify every biblical reference, replace general language only with couple-approved details, and revise the message in your own Christian tradition and pastoral voice.